Boys and Boas

Connor playing Dress up on New Year's Eve 2008!
Connor wearing my headband about a year ago!
Connor with his princess bike that he loved until he got "thomas bike".

I just wanted to share this article that I read in wonder time magazine while sitting in the doctor's office last week. I always get aggravated when dads feel that it is wrong for their little boys to play dress up or with girl toys. My son is going to be three years old soon and one of his favorite things to do is play dress up. Today we were at my sisters house and the smile on his face when Peyton went down to get the dress up clothes was just incredible. Connor, Carson and Peyton were just running around the house in their Cinderella, Tinkerbell and sleeping beauty nighties and having a blast. He even told Aunt Jess that he wanted a Tinkerbell nightgown for his birthday. Now I had to say no to that one, but I definitely feel that it is okay for him to have a great imagination and play with dress up clothes. I wouldn't go as far as to buying them for him, but hey if he sees them at someones house, then more power to him to put them on. I was at work on Friday and Connor went to Gabby's house to play. When I went to pick him up they told me that he had been running around in a pink tutu, a boas around his neck and sparkle flip-flops on his feet. When we got in the car I asked him if he was good and if he had fun and he said, " yes, mommy I got to wear pretty flip flops there."

This is the article(well pieces of it, it was about three pages long). You can view it on wondertime.com. Firefighter and spider-man costumes? So last season. Henry preferred the classics- feathers and tulle. I saw Henry's precocious cross-dressing as evidence that he was oblivious to the gender rules of our culture, that he'd not yet experienced the full-bore peer pressure that abrades the distinctive sparkle of many a child. One afternoon Henry visited the kitchen wearing a Cinderella gown over a navy blue Big Dog t-shirt, fancied up with a bridal veil and one white glove. He headed for the string cheese as if nothing were out of the ordinary. " why are you wearing that?" I asked. He ran his hands down the silky folds of the skirt and said, " I like it". Apparently to his 3- year old eyes it was the perfect snack time attire. So this went on until Henry was about 5 years old, sometimes looking like a juvenile drag queen. He never went to school in dress up or asked to be the Little Mermaid for Halloween. As kindergarten loomed, I wondered if I should make the organza go away. I wanted Henry to be true to his inner being, yet it seemed wise to avoid unnecessary turbulence. If a little girl dresses like a boy, she blends in: pants and t-shirts cross all gender lines. But when a boy goes princess, he stands out, and I wanted to prepare Henry for the limits of the real world. Sweet and cautious, he's never risked going near the ball for fear of being trampled by peers, and at 5, when he heard Nicks sing "Landslide", he cried uncontrollably." High heels make a great noise when you stomp in them." Most boys are done with all the froufrou by age 6 or 7. Most boys by school age begin to absorb the standards for boy behavior, and find the other outlets for sensory-gratifying dress up. Eventually, Henry became a power ranger. Now at 15, he no longer dresses up only down.

So needless to say I have no doubt that Connor just is having a great time playing and enjoying the dress up clothes while he can. He also loves to wear Mara's headbands and bows, go figure. It's fun to drees up and be pretty. Right?

Today was a really great day because on the way home from Jess and Dave's I actually got a glimpse of why I decided to go back to church. Connor openly stated " What an amazing world we live in, Mom". I wasn't really sure if I heard him right, so I said "what did you just say, honey" and he repeated it again, " amazing world mommy". I can only guess one place where he heard that phrase. He was watching three boys playing by the lake on the side of the road and was wondering how they got on the other side of the rail. Why that came into his mind, no one could ever know. But in my heart I know now that my choices for going back to church are only going to make my children realize what a great world we live in today.